Well, that was awkward.

Last night I attended a teatro clásico performance with the Vandy program. As much as I would love to give a review of the show and tell you guys what it was about, after two hours of trying to decipher Spanish theater, I got nada. On the plot at least. I can’t decide if my complete lack of comprehension made the play less or more interesting. But I’m leaning towards the latter. Here’s a summary of what I was way able to take away from “Un Bobo Hace Ciento”..

Things I figured out:

• Each character had a neon highlight in his/her hair and metallic nail polish to match his/her clothes.
• Homosexuality, incest, and masturbation are definitely not taboo in Spanish theater. Rather, they are all embraced. Passionately. At least in this play.
• Spanish performers have very strong vocal chords. So much so that their entire bodies often vibrate while speaking.
• Painting on a six-pack can actually increase a guy’s sex appeal.
• Teatro Pavón does not have intermissions or a concession stand. Minus.
• Sound effects can really add to the drama, especially when characters move their bodies along with the noises. My personal favorite was the gulping noise to demonstrate chugging water.
• The front row is in fact a safe place to sit, despite the various projectiles that may come dangerously close to your face, including wooden arches, ladders, and even actors. (Though my friend did get hit by some sweat.)
• Cute leather boots are not just for teenage girls on the street – actors have them also.
• Sex = drama.

Things that still have me perplexed:

• Why exactly the characters had these neon highlights and metallic nail polish.
• Who thought it was appropriate to let the pudgy dude with the ginger mullet walk around half-desnudo (naked).
• Whether or not the actors were screeching out satirical speeches or serious ones.
• Which characters were siblings, which were lovers, and which were both.
• The sexuality of every character.
• The purpose of the mini-igloo in the middle of the aisle.
• How I was supposed to respond when the 60-year-old man sitting next to me asked what I thought of the play. 
• If our program director read any reviews on this play before buying us all tickets. 

I don’t think those bullet points really cover the absurdity and awkwardness of the theatrical spectacle I witnessed, but they give you some hints at least. In more exciting theatrical news, I was just informed that my fingers typing on my laptop are going to be in the background of a Spanish movie they are currently filming in my fav café. Cool!